Neuroscience of Trust

Neuroscience of Trust: Rebuilding It in the Brain and in Relationships

One of the hardest parts of sobriety wasn’t quitting drinking—it was learning to trust again. Trusting myself. Trusting others. Trusting life. After years of chaos, broken promises, and emotional damage, trust didn’t come easily. And that’s not just emotional—it’s neurological.

Trust lives in the brain. And when you’ve experienced betrayal, abandonment, addiction, or trauma, your brain rewires itself for protection, not connection.

The amygdala, your brain’s threat detector, becomes hypersensitive. It scans for danger—emotional or physical—and activates fight, flight, or freeze responses. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex (your reasoning center) and the insula (which helps you feel empathy and bodily awareness) begin to disconnect from emotional nuance. Instead of pausing to reflect—“Is this person safe?”—you jump straight to “Protect yourself.”

Alcohol often masked this. It created a false sense of openness and lowered your brain’s guard—but it didn’t build real safety. It bypassed it.

In sobriety, rebuilding trust means re-teaching the brain what safety actually feels like.

Here’s how neuroscience supports that process:

• Oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” increases during healthy connection. Eye contact, hugs, and authentic conversations help release it—retraining your brain to associate closeness with calm, not threat.

• Mirror neurons allow your brain to empathize. The more you’re around emotionally safe people, the more your brain learns that connection is rewarding.

• Repetition builds new neural maps. When you show up consistently for yourself (and others do too), your brain literally rewires to expect safety—not betrayal.

Here’s what helped me rebuild trust:

• Keeping promises to myself. Even small ones, like making the bed or staying hydrated. Consistency with myself helped quiet my internal alarm system.

• Practicing vulnerability in safe spaces. I chose one or two trusted people and started small: honest check-ins, setting boundaries, letting them support me.

• Naming the fear. When trust felt hard, I paused and asked: “What am I afraid will happen?” Just acknowledging the fear brought it into the light.

• Repairing rupture. When trust broke down, I didn’t run. I talked it through. That process taught my brain that not all conflict leads to danger.

Trust isn’t a switch you flip—it’s a pathway you rebuild.

And every time you tell the truth, stay present, or hold space for someone else, you’re not just creating trust externally—you’re restoring it internally.

Sobriety doesn’t just give you clarity. It gives you the tools to feel safe in your own skin, in your own choices, and in the world again.

That’s what trust is.

Not perfection. Not control. But a steady, grounded belief that you can handle what comes—and that you’re not alone in it.

If you’re ready to rebuild your brain, sign up for a 1-on-1 Sober Reset Call with me today: https://calendly.com/alexgarner/sober-reset-call